The Girl in Pajamas

A blog of cynicism, judgment and sarcasm from the comfort of my bed.

Mr. Verma’s antics land him in the nick

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

A BBC article made its way into my Instagram feed this morning about a young man’s escapades with the secret service.

Reportedly, the young lad, giddy with excitement, perhaps at the prospect of having dips in the warm, blue waters of Menorca with his friends, landed himself in even hotter water without intending to.

As per the article, before boarding his flight Mr. Verma made a joke with his friends about being a “member of the Taliban” and that he was on his way to “blow up the plane”.

A few minutes later while flying across the Atlantic Ocean, all the passengers of easyJet flight including Mr. Verma and his friends watched in fascination as their plane was being flanked on both sides with two Spanish F18 fighters. Unbeknownst to Mr. Verma, both the fighters and later the police at his final destination who searched the flight and arrested him under suspicion after being being flagged by UK secret service were there because of him and his little joke!

Now we all know that using the b-word at an airport even as a joke can result in hefty fines and penalties (and if you didn’t, you know now), but what was curious in this case was that Mr. Verma had made this joke in a private Snapchat group.

And that makes me wonder, is anything really private?

The forces that be will have you believe that National Security trumps all. In fact, within the 3 minutes that I published this post, every word was probably already scrutinised by an AI system somewhere trained to pick up on the words “Taliban” and “blow” when they appear together in the same sentence.

Isn’t that so? I’m talking to you MI6. I’m sure you’re already going through all my private computer files by now. And while you’re at it, see if you can help me revoke the citizenship statuses of my in-laws and their good-for-nothing friends! Their names are on my private folder under Filename “Voodoo”. PS: the banishment spell doesn’t work!

So in a nutshell, there are a lot of things that scare me and having my name in a news headline with the word jail would certainly be on top of the list. I don’t know what would possess me to do a thing that would trigger such dramatic chain of events but I’m willing to bet that bad luck might have something to do with it.

Signing off

The shy a Girl in Pajamas 👩🏻‍🦱

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The Girl in Pajamas

I am the Girl in Pajamas. I am one inch short of 5ft, my face is covered in pimple scars, I have a squeaky annoying voice and a BMI index of 31.1 (which according to my gynaecologist is borderline obese). I suffer from PCOS, minor alpha thalassemia and apathy. Which means that aside from having a grotesquely high amount of body hair for a woman, I also lack the energy and the will power to shave it off! Every day is bad hair day except on days when I have nowhere to go. In other words, I am your average looking Jane Doe who can lose herself in a crowd of other average looking people without a Henry Cavill look-alike Greek god giving her a second look (count how many times I used the word “look”). In the brain department, however, I consider myself a self-proclaimed smarty pants and enjoy looking down on the stupidity of the rest of the world with a smug satisfaction. Writing is my safety net because I’m otherwise tongue-tied if you speak to me face-to-face. Not because I’m shy but because my lack of nutrition creates a lag in my operating system. I mean a brain fog that prevents me from coming up with the perfect retort to your denseness without being offensive! If you haven’t guessed by now, I also have a very dry sense of humour. And if you enjoy that sort of thing, then you and I will get along just fine! Sincerely The Girl in Pajamas 👩🏻‍🦱

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