The Girl in Pajamas

A blog of cynicism, judgment and sarcasm from the comfort of my bed.

Fortunes and Feuds

Daily writing prompt
Come up with a crazy business idea.
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So it’s a day of feeding delusions, is it?

Oscar Wilde has said, “Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”

If that were indeed true then I assuredly do not suffer from a lack of any or I wouldn’t have spent a small fraction of my hard-earned money this week buying a lottery ticket worth twenty-five million pounds! For in my imagination, I am already jet-setting off on a first-class Emirates flight to the Maldives with a Louis Vuitton matching luggage set. Although, judging by latest global news trends and the collective sentiments of 1.4 billion people on social media, I might not need to be rich to go to Maldives very soon. I’ll just have to scan the latest travel deals on Groupon!

The very next minute after I bought my ticket, I read a newspaper article about an Australian father who is taking his child to court to get back a fraction of a lotto win he supposedly “gifted” her. I began to wonder if it was a sign from the universe. After I finished reading it, I could not work out which one had lost their marbles, the father, the daughter or me, but at least one of us decidedly had!

Later today, on the Daily Mail, I read Carl Borg-Neal’s tirade on how he won five hundred thousand pounds in compensation from his workplace for wrongful dismissal. By this point, I had not reached any amount of certainty on whether I was waking up to an outrageous fortune this week, but I was certain of one thing. The likelihood of me getting rich after suing someone was equal to the likelihood of me suing someone after getting rich. Unless if I draw the lottery of life and marry a Prince, in which case the likelihood of me getting rich would be directly proportional to the number of times my brother-in-law sues his father!

All this business of fortunes and feuds got me thinking, perhaps the most radical business idea I could start would be that of selling lottery tickets! That way, I’ll get rich selling dreams to other imaginative beings and then sit back and watch the world burn with my winners suing each other afterwards.

Signing off

The bourgeois Girl in Pajamas 👩🏻‍🦱

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The Girl in Pajamas

I am the Girl in Pajamas. I am one inch short of 5ft, my face is covered in pimple scars, I have a squeaky annoying voice and a BMI index of 31.1 (which according to my gynaecologist is borderline obese). I suffer from PCOS, minor alpha thalassemia and apathy. Which means that aside from having a grotesquely high amount of body hair for a woman, I also lack the energy and the will power to shave it off! Every day is bad hair day except on days when I have nowhere to go. In other words, I am your average looking Jane Doe who can lose herself in a crowd of other average looking people without a Henry Cavill look-alike Greek god giving her a second look (count how many times I used the word “look”). In the brain department, however, I consider myself a self-proclaimed smarty pants and enjoy looking down on the stupidity of the rest of the world with a smug satisfaction. Writing is my safety net because I’m otherwise tongue-tied if you speak to me face-to-face. Not because I’m shy but because my lack of nutrition creates a lag in my operating system. I mean a brain fog that prevents me from coming up with the perfect retort to your denseness without being offensive! If you haven’t guessed by now, I also have a very dry sense of humour. And if you enjoy that sort of thing, then you and I will get along just fine! Sincerely The Girl in Pajamas 👩🏻‍🦱

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