The Girl in Pajamas

A blog of cynicism, judgment and sarcasm from the comfort of my bed.

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Daily writing prompt
If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?
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So I come from a long line of business people who see potential in being able to sell anything. And I mean anything.

I’ll give you an extreme example. Once, the fire authority services went around providing their local businesses, including my dad’s, with a free smoke alarm to put up in their shops. One fine day, exasperated by the constant beeping from the device each time a nicotine addict stepped in the shop, my father removed the batteries from the alarm unit and sold it to the next unsuspecting gentleman who asked for a transistor radio to go with it.

This single transaction has simultaneously benefited so many including by father’s ears, his cash register, the smokers, the gentleman who bought the radio, the firemen who unbeknownst to them have future job prospects and the insurance company! The only people I see not being too happy about this are probably the neighbours in case of an actual fire but between you and me, no one really likes them!

Similarly are my uncles and such were my grandfather and great grandfather.

Somehow, the buck has stopped with me! My varied endeavours, be it photography, cake making, jewellery reselling or t-shirt printing have all tanked because my interests in my own products seem to exceed those of my customers! And that’s why, any advertising mode is wasted on me.

But just because I lack the willpower to part with my own products, there’s no reason for you to be discouraged! A little bit of marketing would do wonders for you! In fact, I just happen to have the most perfect freeway billlboard available on rent! 😉

Sincerely,

The Girl in Pajamas 👩🏻‍🦱

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The Girl in Pajamas

I am the Girl in Pajamas. I am one inch short of 5ft, my face is covered in pimple scars, I have a squeaky annoying voice and a BMI index of 31.1 (which according to my gynaecologist is borderline obese). I suffer from PCOS, minor alpha thalassemia and apathy. Which means that aside from having a grotesquely high amount of body hair for a woman, I also lack the energy and the will power to shave it off! Every day is bad hair day except on days when I have nowhere to go. In other words, I am your average looking Jane Doe who can lose herself in a crowd of other average looking people without a Henry Cavill look-alike Greek god giving her a second look (count how many times I used the word “look”). In the brain department, however, I consider myself a self-proclaimed smarty pants and enjoy looking down on the stupidity of the rest of the world with a smug satisfaction. Writing is my safety net because I’m otherwise tongue-tied if you speak to me face-to-face. Not because I’m shy but because my lack of nutrition creates a lag in my operating system. I mean a brain fog that prevents me from coming up with the perfect retort to your denseness without being offensive! If you haven’t guessed by now, I also have a very dry sense of humour. And if you enjoy that sort of thing, then you and I will get along just fine! Sincerely The Girl in Pajamas 👩🏻‍🦱

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