The Girl in Pajamas

I am the Girl in Pajamas. I am one inch short of 5ft, my face is covered in pimple scars, I have a squeaky annoying voice and a BMI index of 31.1 (which according to my gynaecologist is borderline obese). I suffer from PCOS, minor alpha thalassemia and apathy. Which means that aside from having a grotesquely high amount of body hair for a woman, I also lack the energy and the will power to shave it off! Every day is bad hair day except on days when I have nowhere to go. In other words, I am your average looking Jane Doe who can lose herself in a crowd of other average looking people without a Henry Cavill look-alike Greek god giving her a second look (count how many times I used the word “look”). In the brain department, however, I consider myself a self-proclaimed smarty pants and enjoy looking down on the stupidity of the rest of the world with a smug satisfaction. Writing is my safety net because I’m otherwise tongue-tied if you speak to me face-to-face. Not because I’m shy but because my lack of nutrition creates a lag in my operating system. I mean a brain fog that prevents me from coming up with the perfect retort to your denseness without being offensive! If you haven’t guessed by now, I also have a very dry sense of humour. And if you enjoy that sort of thing, then you and I will get along just fine! Sincerely The Girl in Pajamas 👩🏻‍🦱